The 3 Things You Need To Have A Lasting Relationship

“Do I really need to read yet another dating book…?”  I thought to myself when I picked up Ali Binazir’s, The Tao of Dating.

I’m trying to finish my own book, let alone have time to read someone else’s.

But I did read it.  And I’m glad I did.

The Tao of Dating is definitely a book worth reading and I highly recommend it.

Ali looks at dating with a slightly different perspective that has a lot to do with masculine and feminine energy.

Masculine and feminine energy?  Ah!  I LOVE those discussions!

But what really intrigued me was Ali’s concept about what we need for a lasting relationship.

He calls it the “Three Chakra Connection.”

The three connections Ali refers to are from Hindu philosophy representing the head, heart and body…

Or, the physical, mental and emotional/spiritual connections.

Ali’s idea is if you’re going to have a great relationship, you need to connect on all three levels – head, heart and body.

If you have two out of the three, you can have a good short-term relationship.

But you won’t have the deep, lasting fulfillment most of us want in a long-term relationship… what my dear friend, Arielle Ford refers to “soul mate love.”

So this whole concept got me thinking…

Could that have been part of the problem in some of my previous relationships?

I didn’t have a “three chakra connection” with the guy?

Hmmmm.

The more I thought about it, the more truth to it I could see.

In almost every previous relationship I had at least one out of the three connections missing.  And in some cases two out of three.

Okay, well, when it was two out of three missing, it was because there was a physical connection only… tons of chemistry, not much else to sustain the relationship.

Once those hormones start flying, it’s easy to overlook not having any other connections with a guy.

And once those hormones stop flying, it’s just as easy to wonder what the heck we were thinking when we got involved with this person, because we have nothing else in common.

Sometimes I had two out of three connections.  But even then it was a struggle.

Looking back, I saw how many times I tried to overlook not having the one missing connection in a relationship.

If the emotional connection was missing, I’d try to overcome it by being more loving, more understanding, more giving… in hopes that it might develop if I just put more of my time and energy into the relationship.

It never worked.

Those men usually turned out to be emotionally unavailable.  And emotionally unavailable men are, well, emotionally unavailable, and not capable of a lasting emotional connection.

I’d get glimpses of emotional connectivity now and then that would get my hopes up.  But honestly, the amount of work it took get there, simply wasn’t worth it.

Then there were times the intellectual connection was missing.

And big surprise, I employed the same overlooking tactics.

I tried to pretend I didn’t need to have deep, intimate conversations with my partner about goals, dreams and life in general.

But without that mental connection, I just felt unfulfilled and frustrated after awhile, because our conversations all seemed so shallow.

There were a few times I even tried to pretend not having a physical connection with a man didn’t matter.

Okay, that was probably pretty stupid.

A few weeks into the relationship, I’d generally find myself saying things like, “…but he’s such a nice guy.  Maybe something will change and I’ll start being attracted to him if I just hang in there a little longer.”

It never changed.  I just wasted more of my time and his.

When we only have two connections in a relationship, regardless of which ones they are, eventually the lack of the third starts to affect the other two.

Not having a consistent emotional connection with a man, eventually took its toll on the physical aspect of the relationship, because I didn’t feel I could share my heart.

And the same was true of not having an intellectual connection.  Without having a partner I could feel free to talk to about anything and everything, the emotional and physical connections just started to unravel.

Then I thought about the man I’m with now.  And why this relationship stands out far above any of my previous ones.

It’s because we connect on every level – physically, intellectually and emotionally.

And it all just works.

So, I’m interested…

If you look back on some of your previous relationships, how many connections did you have in common with your partners?

Was it maybe two of three?  Or God forbid, like I did a few too many times, just one out of three?

Don’t settle for less than having all three connections with a man- physical, mental and emotional.

We NEED all three.

You DESERVE all three.

HOLD OUT for all three.

It’s so worth it.  YOU are worth it.

I’d love to know how having or NOT having these connections affected your relationships…

Does having all three matter?

I think it does.

Let me know what you think, okay?

Just post your thoughts, comments and questions below… I really want to hear from you.

Until next time,

With love and magical blessings,

Dawn

Tagged as: attract the love of your life, attract the man of your dreams, attract your soul mate, Attracting Love, dating, Dating advice for women, Finding Mr Right, Love, Relationships